Miki Spies speaks with Andrew Ferebee from Knowledge For Men about All Things Seduction!

Enjoy this humorous and incredibly insightful interview with Love Guru - Miki Spies.

She gives a Playboy style interview to Andrew Ferebee, founder of Knowledge For Men on all things dating, flirting and sex...

Ferebee asks Spies probing questions on what it takes to become a master seducer.

Miki’s answers are revealing and enticing. Enjoy!


Andrew: “Alright guys, welcome to the show. We are here with Miki Spies. She’s a spiritual coach, a transformational speaker with an enthusiastic message for manifestation. She is also the author of the infamous ‘How To Be A Sex God; Make Women Worship You’ for men. Miki, happy to have you here on the show.”

Miki: “Hi Andrew!!”

Andrew: “(Laughter). Alright. What a lovely welcoming message we have have here from Miki. We start off every show with a favorite success quote or some sort of saying that you’ve lived by. Something from your book ‘Sex God’ would be great. What have you got for us? And explain what that means to you.”

Miki: “What I would like your listeners to know is that an honest evaluation of self in this area, is the most important thing to do. Freud said “Being entirely honest with ones self is good exercise.” And when we’re talking about sex and how to please a woman and how to make women worship you… Honey you got to be honest with your skills and where you are in life.”

Andrew: “So what do you mean about being ‘honest’? Kind of owning where you’re at personally, professionally? Instead of trying to put on this type of persona that you’re someone else?”

Miki: “80% of women fake orgasms. 87% make noises just to try and get you to hurry up. Sex is not really so great out there for women.”

Andrew: “Okay, so this is a big topic. So what is it like for a woman to… I mean is this what it’s like every time with every man?"

Miki: “(Big Laughter).”


Andrew: “Or is this just how it is? Or do they find certain men that do certain things that really please her?”

Miki: “You know, I’m a bi-sexual woman. And I don’t really want to give up either sex because the benefit that you get from both… the sex is so different, so out of this world different. They’re both good. Sex with women is better because women have better skills with other women. And that’s just a no-brainer. We understand the body better. Does it always have to be this way? HELL NO! This is why I wrote ‘Make Women Worship You’. Every tiny detail, every secret you can image, so that women really will worship you. Because the ultimate goal is not to have a lot of sex. Right? Anybody can do that and it just kind of gets ugly after awhile. You’re exchanging all of your energy with all of these random people. That’s just not the most healthy when we are becoming spiritual giants, when we want more for our life. So the better way to look at sex is having a presence and having women desire you so much that they kind of worship you in that area. Whether you are in a relationship with one, whether you are in a relationship with five, (Laughter) or you just want to sit back and let things simmer for awhile, you need this element in place.”

Andrew: “And so what are some of the… well let’s say… what are some of things men are often doing wrong in the bedroom? Let;s start there.”

Miki: “NO! Can we do that a little bit later? Because that’s what you men want to do Andrew. You men want to rush right to the fucking sex! This is what men want to do. Okay. This is funny. I love your question. So cute. (Laughter). Do you find the humor in it? Do you find the humor in it at all?”

Andrew: “I see the humor. I just think… I’m thinking of my audience and that’s what they’re thinking.”

Miki: “(Laughter).”

Andrew: “I am kind of the spokesperson for thousands of listeners.”

Miki: “All of you beautiful, thousands of men out there who subscribe to Knowledge For Men, that have a heart like Andrew, that want the best life for yourself, that don’t want to settle for anything, if we’re going to talk about sex, we’ve got to back way the fuck up. Is it okay if I curse? Cause I’m kind of a curser.”

Andrew: “Yeah. Yeah. I like to curse when I’m emphasizing a point but if you’re just cursing every other word, I’ll have to edit that. Alright keep going Miki.”

Miki: “Alright. So let me start with the fact that EVERYTHING about you needs to be foreplay. Because foreplay is everything and everything is foreplay. So if you want that quote to go in your head, that’s the one I would say take from me. Everything is foreplay and you want everything to be foreplay. And in order to get to that level, you need to become a sexy bastard.”

Andrew: “And by foreplay do you mean both inside and outside of the bedroom?”

Miki: “Mostly it starts… Where I’m going to start right now is with who you are, how you are perceived, what you look like. Just looking at you should turn me on. If you want me and you want me to want you, just you looking at me should turn me on and me looking at you, should turn me on. In the first chapter of ‘Make Women Worship You’ I talk about what that looks like. Because, you know, men with dirty cars for instance, that’s bad foreplay. Really, really, really bad foreplay. If you’re wearing an old ball cap and an old sweatshirt, and holy underwear and socks, that is terrible foreplay. You are not turning us on. Already you are turning us off. So you have to understand, women… you know you men can look at my naked body and be like “Oh my god I want to have sex right now!” (Snaps). But a woman takes a little somethin’, somethin’ and an accumulative somethin’, somethin’ in order to really get us on that page of worshiping you. So if you really, really want to be a sex god, you have to realize everything, all of the little habits, your pad needs to be sexy. If you want a quality, gorgeous, intelligent, interesting woman in your bed often, and you want to have great sex with her, your pad needs to be sexy. So you need to do a little ‘manscaping’ around the house making sure all the junk is moved out. Learn a little about style and design. You know, you don’t need to have a lot, in fact it’s better if you’re in a simple place and have extra income. That’s so much sexier than to have a big place that’s not decorated and is just kind of a mess. So, there are so many things to us that are foreplay. You wanted to jump right into the sex. I love it.”

Andrew: “Yeah. Yeah. When you talk about the word foreplay it makes me think, “what are we doing here?” I get it now. So foreplay even happens that moment you guys make eye contact. And then, even his appearance is a form of foreplay.”

Miki: “If he’s got nose hairs hanging out his nose…”

Andrew: “I mean he’s fore-playing. It’s just not doing the job. (Laughter).”

Miki:No! It’s turning us off. You know a big part of seduction is withholding your energy, yet giving her energy. Most men merge their energy. They just want to push you up against the wall and “blaaahhhh urrrggggg” all over you. Women don’t want that. We want you to control your energy. I am energy and you are energy. Yes we’re entangled when we are together. In fact you and I are entangled right now.”

Andrew: “Oh no.”

Miki:You really want to honor that and not mesh it. Because the second you do… you see, the sexiest thing in the world is controlling energy.”

Andrew: “So you… so when a man can control his sexual desire, that is turning up the volume knob inside that woman?”

Miki: “Yes. And maintaining that little dial you just turned up right there, that you just grasped, maintaining that throughout the course of the relationship. See most men, they’ll have bad habits, you know, they’ll belch, burp, into a relationship real fast or you know… the other. That kind of thing gets rid of the sexual tension. Yes we want you to be yourself. But if you want real great sex, maintaining that sexual tension is super important. You know, you don’t need to become this super metrosexual, over the top with your grooming, you don’t need to have a perfect body, but you shouldn’t be fat. I would imagine most of your listeners have figured out a good diet, they’re not eating a bunch of meat and dairy. They’re eating fruits and vegetables. They’re eating beans and grains. They’re eating nuts. They’re drinking water. You know, they’re not infusing their energy with things that make them depressed and make them anxious. I hope that your listeners are to the point where they understand diet really dictates so much of their future success.”

Andrew: “Okay, we’re working on the diet. Obviously I think guys are working out. They’re eating well. Let’s say they find themselves… they are attracted to a woman, yet they feel like, “god, her attraction, she’s so beautiful” that it’s difficult for this person to be himself. Its difficult for this person to really take control of that volume knob and slowwwwwly turn it up.”

Miki: “Okay. So fun. So fun. Because when you think about it, we’re all really cool right? Every single one of us is interesting, powerful and unique. Nobody is like you. There’s no one like you. No one. So bringing your best self to the table without trying to disguise yourself of trying to be careful, is super attractive. That’s the confidence that women want. Women want that level of “I know who I am. I may not be 6’4, 250 pounds of muscle. But I am a sexy motherfucker. I’ve been doing the self work. I’ve been working on my mental well being. I’m understanding what a woman wants.” You know, the seduction piece is really interesting, because a lot men don’t have the confidence here. In ‘Make Women Worship You’, I have really simple instructions on how to flirt. I take all the guess work out of it.”

Andrew: “Well, let’s do an example right now.”

Miki: “Okay, one is… it’s funny, because my daughter, Sydney, who is gorgeous, and in this book ‘Make Women Worship You’, when they buy this, they’ll get all of the pictures of her. She is by the way… I don’t know if your listeners remember the ‘Too Sexy For Her Yearbook Scandal’ that happened 4 years ago. That was my daughter Sydney, climbing on the stairs with the yellow skirt. We were in the headlines everywhere. We ended up on The Today Show. Anyway, she’s stunning. And she got a lot of trouble because of how beautiful she is. And men are extremely intimidated. Let’s say you are sitting in a movie theatre and you’re with one of your buddies and you see these two women. They are gorgeous, you think, “they are out of our league,” but “oh my god, aren’t they beautiful? They just seem so natural and fun.” Throw a piece of popcorn at them. Taking risks, taking playful risks is something that interrupts her day and gets her attention. That’s what you want. You want to get her attention. You want to buy the coffee of that old lady behind you in line so that you impress the woman you’ve been trying to the number of, behind the counter of Starbucks. You want to be really creative in ways that get her attention. I do have a lot of examples of those in ‘Make Women Worship You’. I’m not going to go completely into that but what I do want men to remember is sex is not the ultimate goal. Everywhere you go, you want to have beautiful women as friends, do you not? All woman are beautiful, are we not?”

Andrew: “Absolutely.”

Miki: “We are all beautiful. The healthy ones are. The not so healthy ones you want to stay away from. Don’t mess with that energy. Don’t even think about having sex with someone who is not mentally there, spiritually not growing, you know… just for the sake of sex. That brings your vibration down. You don’t want that.”

Andrew: “Can you talk about more about that? Let’s say when a guy is ‘settling’ to satisfy his sexual desire. How does that affect him moving forward when he does want to meet that special woman?”

Miki: “You’re not going to be so into her, so your sex is not going to be so good. And you want to build your skills. So every time you are doing something you want to be thinking, you know, “Is this working for me?” And the things that work for you, you want to continue. And the thing that doesn’t work for you is engaging with people that bring your energy down. It’s obvious. I would rather you master-bate to the thought of having a future gorgeous, fantastic, out of this world woman, than to have sex with somebody thats subpar.”

Andrew: “And how do you think this affects other aspects of his life?”

Miki: “Which part?”

Andrew: “Settling.”

Miki: “Everything. It impacts everything. I’m a big advocate of not having sleepovers. Absolutely no sleepovers until you’re ready to commit. Because you will settle. And you don’t want what’s there yet. (Laughter). So part of that withholding your energy means not exposing your energy, over-exposing your energy. Right?”

Andrew: “Yeah.”

Miki: “So, it seeps into everything. Spending a lot of time with a subpar woman takes away time from all of the things you want to do. It takes away from the book that you want to read or write. It takes away from that agent you’re trying to find. It takes away from those sales calls you need to make. Don’t even get involved. Practice the flirting part, and then use that sexual energy that comes from that, to help propel you with your endeavors.”

Andrew: “Hmmm. I like that. Okay so just to go over… because I’m sure a lot of guys were like “Wait, wait, did she say no sleepovers?” Did you mean… you said no sleepovers until committed. Are you saying no sex until you guys have committed to each other? Are you saying no one night stands?”

Miki: “No! No! (Laughter). Have all the sex you want. But try not to have it too early. Try not to have it the first date or two. Try to keep her on the hook. Right?”

Andrew: “We may have lost half the audience with that. (Laughter). Just kidding. I think it’s good to really, build more tension. And I think it makes it more exciting for the girl.”

Miki: “Yes! You’re getting it!

Andrew: “You know, she’s talking to her friends, “There’s this guy…””

Miki: “Yes! You’re getting it! Yes!

Andrew: “…“you know, he had the opportunity but he didn’t because he’s so confident that it’s going to happen later.” Things like that…”

Miki: “We hate stupid texts. “Hey. You’re hot.” “Hey, how ya doing?” You know, in my book, ‘Make Women Worship You’ it talks about different texts that you can send and ways to flirt. You have to be creative. Most men… the truth is, most men bore us.”

Andrew: “Yeah.”

Miki: “They do. You’re not very interesting. You don’t talk about enough cool things. Your audience is perhaps the exception because they are doing self work, because they are pursuing higher thought, because they are doing the development work to live the kind of life they want to live. Hopefully they are altruistic people and want to give back to society. Those are the kinds of things that are sexy. Those are the kinds of things that are going to turn us on. If you are doing all of this kind of work and you start giving a little of your energy here, a little there, kind of carefully. If your goal is to get married, you’re being kind of careful with that. You’re looking around. You’re making a lot of friends but you’re taking your time. Sleeping with somebody is fine. If you didn’t rush it that’s great. Personally, I took a spiritual vow of celibacy 2 years ago. I forgot my train of thought… Oh, just sleeping with people, you know, that’s really not your goal. You know, withholding and finding out who you are… During this time of celibacy, I have written two books. I moved to a foreign country. I started a company. The amount of evidence that I have as to my work has grown because I’m not wasting my time with sub-standard people. When the time comes, they need to be at the same level that I’m at. And settling is not in the cards. Having sex is not your goal. Becoming a sex god is your goal. We want fun interactions. We hate creepy. Don’t be fucking creepy. I talk about this in ‘Make Women Worship You’. You know, most men don’t know what creepy is. (Laughter). A couple of examples of creepy is, standing too close to us right away. It’s becoming too familiar too soon. It’s sending text messages that don’t intrigue us. It’s just not elevating your game. There’s a difference between creepy and classy. You can give me a compliment and say “Oh my god. You are such a beautiful woman.” Or you can say “WOWWW, beautiful womannnn!” Figure out a way to express yourself that makes her feel charmed.”

Andrew: “I like that. Okay, so for guys listening that would like some advice on how they can have great sex tonight… There are guys listening… it’s in the morning right now so I think they can start sending some witty, fun texts to their girlfriend or wife. What would you suggest they do right now, so that by the time they get home they would have built some sexual tension?”

Miki: “Good. Creating a sense of anticipation is huge. We want that basically in play, ALL THE TIME. So you want… That whole thought of a man sitting on the couch and watching sports and getting fat, drinking beer… No sexual tension there! That is like the most unattractive…”

Andrew: “HA! Wait. The commercials don’t say that though, they say otherwise. (Laughter).”

Miki: “That is the most unattractive thing I can possibly think of. Any man that just wants sex and just puts pressure on a woman for sex… that’s not sexy. Relationships are not going to be hot for the remainder of the time you are together if you aren’t keeping a really strong sexual tension going. She’s got to be her own being. She wants a man that’s in control. You have to make her ravenous with anticipation. It’s the biggest secret around sex. The biggest secret! But men are fucking up. They’re fucking up, and they need this help to get them on track…”

Andrew: “Can you repeat the… you said that is the secret to sex, can you repeat that?”

Miki: “…is making her ravenous with anticipation.”

Andrew: “And what does that feel like for you? What does it feel like when a man is doing it just right? How do you feel? What’s going on in your mind, what’s going on?”

Miki: “Okay. Everything is perked up. (Laughter). Every cell in our body comes alive. Anticipation. Everything we are anticipating centers around you. We can’t wait to see you. We can’t wait to put our fingers through your hair. Can’t wait to kiss your face and tell you how fantastic you are. When you can maintain that level of anticipation, when you can maintain that level of seduction, we are going to be putty in your hands. Honestly. Putty. Here’s a really good one to do: Instead of thinking “Oh, I want to have sex tonight!” How about this? How about making her want to have sex and you being too busy? How about you walking out the door and knowing you don’t have time but seducing her in a way that puts her on edge? Incredible foreplay. All day long that sista’ is going to be thinking about you. She is going to want to have sex with you. She’s not going to be able to wait to see you later that day. And then don’t just send nasty, whatever texts. They need to be cool. They need to be a little more infrequent. Stop telling us about all of your problems or every little detail in your life. (Laughter). You know that familiarity breeds contempt. You don’t want to do that until down the road, you know, when you’re living together. In the beginning, maintain a little bit of secrecy, if you will.”

Andrew: “I like this. And I think the anticipation is just the key point for guys moving forward. So what kind of texts would you recommend a guy to send right now while he’s listening to this? What should he say to build that anticipation and what should he do after?”

Miki: “If he ever says “Hey, how you doin’?”, he should be slapped. If you have sent a recent text that says “Hey how you doin’?” to a woman you are interested in, slap your hand as hard as you can right now, slap your wrist, just do it. And tell yourself to never do that again. So let’s just start with that. Something to say would be something specific to her. I go into detail, I give the cliff notes of astrology in my book because if you have the secret… Everything is connected to everything. I’m connected to you, you’re connected to me. We’re 99.9999% dark matter that runs through us. The planets are connected to everything that is. We’re on a big astrological clock. So I give you cliff notes for each sign and what you should do for each sign, because it depends on the woman. An Aries is going to be a certain way, A Cancer is going to receive something different. A woman that is a Capricorn, she’s going to see the world in a completely different way. So learning a woman’s astrology… and let me tell you the benefits that this has in the flirting department, WOAHHHHH! Now you get to talk about her. Astrology is something you can learn for the rest of your life and still not fully understand it. And you’ll have that much more gauge, you know, the more you learn. If you’re a fire sign, an earth sign is probably going to bore you, unless she has some fire in some other places in her chart. If you’re a water sign, an air sign is going to be a little too distant in their approach; they’re not as connected, deeply, emotionally. So every day I send you, (almost every day), a little Love Note that I carefully choose my words to love on you, encourage you, make you feel like you can walk on water. Because we don’t have enough encouragement like that in our lives. Most of us don’t, I don’t, other people don’t. And throughout this book I give homework sections. For instance, in the first chapter where it’s just about you and becoming a sexy bastard, I give homework sections about what you should do around your house, what you should do in your personal environment. In the last chapter, the sex chapter I go in to… Honey it’s embarrassing. It’s so vivid. It’s so detailed. I go into what you should have in your sex drawer. So yeah. There’s a lot to learn. I’ll go back to that quote by Einstein, right? By Freud, I’m sorry, by Freud. It’s a good thing to become self aware. It’s extremely important that we understand our limitations, who we are and how much we have to learn. And most men… “Being entirely honest with ones self is good exercise.”… most men think they’re doing fine. They really do. And you know what? The problem is women don’t educate you. This is why I wrote the book. Most women don’t educate you. They’re doing themselves a disservice, 87% of them. By making these sounds and noises just to make you feel good about yourself… and you’re practically doing everything wrong. 87% of women behave that way. You think, “I’m a sex god. I don’t need this talk. I’m doing just fine.” when in actuality, the percentages and the odds are against you. And your intentions are good, it’s just we’re a different species dude. We’re so different from you. So the way we want to have sex is different. You know, if you think about gay men having sex… most gay couples have open relationships. You know, they’re out there having quickies and sex more often. They’re having more sex than anybody. They understand each other. Women, we’re different. This is why lesbian sex is so good. Women are understanding of what we want. Men and women come from two very different places. In a way, it’s not as natural of sex. (Big Laughter). There’s a lot to overcome.”

Andrew: “So then, yeah. So this makes me think then, what does a woman really want inside? So now, I think we can come back to this. We wanted to back up and do some of the uh…”

Miki: “(Laughter). You wanted to get into it in the second minute!

Andrew: “I wanted to get in! That’s what the audience is thinking and I’m trying to get, you know… Guys are driving to work they got limited time. So what is it that women really want inside the bedroom? Up to this point, the volume nob is high, the anticipation is great, he’s a done a good job here. He’s ready to go, she’s ready to go. What’s ‘the act’ look like?”

Miki: “Okay. So everything is foreplay as we know.”

Andrew: “Yes.”

Miki: “Everything is seduction. Your anticipation has to be there. And then in the sex department, most men don’t know where to find our clit, they don’t know… there’s a lot of things that they just don’t know. So I get into details in that. And you know, some people think that this book is really scandalous because it has pictures of my daughter, which none of them are naked but they’re really, really, really beautiful. And then here’s Momma Miki voice speaking some real talk into your life. So I do go into details about that. I would say the biggest, most important thing is that you make us feel like we’re with a different lover all the god damn time. I don’t want to feel like sex is… like you’re gonna feel my breasts and then you’re gonna rub on me for a minute and kiss me and then we’re gonna have sex. And it’s always that way. And it’s always in the same place, and it’s always in the same room, and it’s always with the same sounds, and it’s always with the same lights and it’s always with the same music. It’s always the same. It bores us. BORES US. This is why women watch and listen to and read these romance novels. You know, I hate the stuff. I just think it’s a waste of time. I don’t see how it’s really benefiting anybody. It’s just kind of putting you in a fantasy land instead of living that fantasy land. Same with porn. Go make that fantasy happen for yourself. Bring that reality to fruition. So when it comes to sex, we do want you withholding your energy, and giving your energy. Withholding your energy, giving your energy. We want it different. Sometimes we want it rough. Sometimes we want to be surprised. Sometimes we want to be tied up. Sometimes we want it to be loving. Sometimes we want it over the kitchen counter. And when you are keeping her on the hook, when you have her on the hook because she desires you, because she worships you, because she honestly sees you as a Sex God, because her cells are jumping all over the place. You are going to have the most incredible sex of your life. So we had to back wayyyy up because the sex act is the part where she is going to come alive. If all of the things that you’ve learned from this podcast are applied, your sex is going to be something that you never dreamed possible. I’m a multi-orgasmic person. It’s never been hard for me. I’m not a ‘faker’, but most women are. So really taking a look at that and stepping back and saying, “Hey, I’m going to withhold my energy better. I’m going to make every ounce of our sex life unique. I’m not going to be a slob and turn her off all of the time because I’m you know, just being sloppy. I’m going to consciously learn how to be more sexy, how to give her what she wants.” When you get in the bedroom… and I give so many ideas. So many ideas of what to do, how to do, when to turn her over, what to say her ear, where to bite her, how to make her feel when you’re looking at her, when to hold her down, when to pull her hair. I get into it. Really, really strongly. You will have the kind of sex you want if you do ALL of the things leading up to it that she wants you to do. It’ll be off the hook.”

Andrew: “So it sounds like to me, that sex begins hours or even days before?”

Miki: “It begins all the god damn time. (Laughter). It’s always at play. Always at play. Always at play. If you can keep it always at play, oh honey, that woman is going to worship you.”

Andrew: “And so when ‘the act’ does happen, that’s when it all unfolds there? But without all the anticipation before, it’s boring.”

Miki: “Subpar. You’ve been boring us.”

Andrew: “What’s the importance of a mans words and voice and noise in the act?”

Miki: “You know, it depends on the woman. Again, a fire sign woman is going to be more athletic. She’s gonna be ravenous. She’s gonna be more physical. She’s gonna want to take more control. She’s gonna want to push you down. She’s going to want to be very involved in that push-pull. A water sign… except for Scorpio, they’re always kinky. Um, but a water sign is going to want more of the tender, more of the love, more of the slow touching. This is where pornography does women on women sex absolutely zero favors. Because the way lesbians have sex compared to porn stars having sex together is completely different. It’s night and day. And if you can just think about… even meditate. Make one of your meditation sessions about, “What would it feel like to make love to a woman, have sex with a woman, as a woman?” I know that sounds crazy. You’ve probably never thought about it. If you can sit there for a minute, sit there for 20 minutes, meditating, “What would it feel like to make love to a woman as a woman?” You’ll kind of start to understand a little more about what that looks like and what we’re looking for.”

Andrew: “I’m feeling like the woman would slow down. That’s what comes to my mind.

Miki: …(Says in a snarky tone) “You’re so perceptive. You’re so smart. (Laughter). You really are smart by the way. I love your story.”

Andrew: (Laughter). You heard the story. Which one? I have many stories.”

Miki: “Well just sort of your story of overcoming and living with the brother and all the hardship, the first blog you wrote. Yeah, I don’t know you well enough…”

Andrew: “Thank you. Thank you. Is that sexy? Is that anticipation for someone?”

Miki: “Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.”

Andrew: “Story telling?

Miki: “Well and the self work, right? The self work is so important. If a man is sitting at a table with a woman and he’s buying her dinner and he’s talking about his ex in any kind of negative way, the only thing that speaks to her is that you’re messed up. You’re not healed. That’s not a good start. You got to be careful about what you talk about. You got to be careful about your own mental well being as you enter a relationship because that’s kind of your foundation right? Wherever she is, wherever you are spiritually, that’s where you’re starting. So being healed before you enter a relationship will make your relationship that much better.”

Andrew: “So this kind of goes into that whole celibacy thing you were talking about, where you’re really doing, you’re focusing inward and doing things that you need to be doing and you’re unleashing your creative potential on the world. And there’s a self discovery process. How much more did you learn about yourself Miki, when you were going through that period?”

Miki: “Oh yeah! I learned more in 2 years than I had in my previous 47. Honestly. More in those two years. We’re so obsessed with sex and having it now and you know when, if we would use all of the power of that sexual energy, and channel it better into what we want for ourselves… I also wrote a book called ‘Rise Up Bitch! ; An Inspired Methodology For Manifesting Fantasies’. And it’s written to women, but the men that have read it have just sung my praises because it’s all about that growth. It’s all about coming into your power. It’s all about finding out who you are and becoming something more. So yeah, absolutely. Rushing into a relationship just for the sake of sex… you may look at in in 6 months and say, “Why the hell am I here? This woman is crazy. I don’t even like her. You know, she’s not interesting, she’s so possessive.” You have to set the pace, and decide what you want beforehand. You know, do you just want casual sex? Okay. Then make sure that she’s at your level, that she’s at your standard and have more than just the one because now she’s probably going to dominate. You know, if you’re not ready for a relationship, flirt for a while with several and use these techniques in the book. Don’t get sloppy here. Practice being that Sex God. Practice feeling empowered. Practice having women truly care about you and being interested in you. But you set the pace. It’s really important that you don’t… you know, most people just do sort of what other people want them to do and that’s unfortunate because then you become jaded or you’re just not happy because you didn’t fully make the decision. That’s why I’m not a big believer in sleepovers until you know you want to be committed. Just make her leave. You know, let her know up front, “I used to do sleepovers all the time and then I felt like I had to make breakfast and then they wanted to hang out with me. And you know, I know that I’m fun and great and clever and interesting but I don’t want you dominating all of my time. That’s what makes me interesting is because I spend time on my own projects.” So you know, you have to decide what you want.”

Andrew: “Yeah. And you know, when you’re talking here something that keeps popping up in my mind is ‘the nice guy’ and I’m wondering… you’re familiar with this quote-on-quote ‘nice guy’ trend right? Or what this type of man does and how he acts? And I’m wondering how women are perceiving this man especially in a sexual way.”

Miki: “This is where he needs to become better at all of these techniques of flirting. Become better at seducing. Learn how to control his energy. Because being ‘nice’ is fantastic, but you want to be considered sexy and desirable, just like a woman does. So you have to work on that. And anybody can do it! Anybody. I don’t care. I can take the nerdiest of men… In fact you and I should do a session one time… because really, any man can develop any of these skills. And roll playing is always helpful because it’s that first stepping out kind of thing, you know. I guess I would say don’t consider yourself a ‘nice guy’. Like consider yourself a nice guy, but consider yourself a fascinating guy. Consider yourself worthy. Consider yourself valuable. Consider yourself powerful. And when you start looking at yourself in all of your dimensions, then you become more fierce, then you can draw a woman in. I’m a big believer… in Rise Up Bitch, I talk about mirror work because a lot of women don’t love themselves very much. They say negative things about themselves and tear themselves down. Nobody should be doing that. A man shouldn’t be doing that, a woman shouldn’t be doing that. Nobody should be doing that. Words are really important. So if you just sort of feel like “ehh… I’m just a nice guy and women pigeon hold me,” then you’re talking to yourself negatively. So go look in the mirror every morning and tell yourself what you need to hear. Every day I tell myself something different. for a long time, when i was just trying to find my footing, every morning I would look in the mirror and tell myself “I am a bad-ass-mother-fucker.” I would look in the mirror and say, “You are a bad-ass-mother-fucker.” And it was exactly what I needed to hear. Because I knew I was, but I just had those moments of feeling like, “Golly. Life is hard. I’m feeling kind of weak here… everything is not exactly falling into place as quickly as I’d like it to.” And so that was my little mantra. Men should do the same kind of work. Whatever you need to hear. You know, if you’re not feeling powerful look in the mirror and tell yourself, “You are powerful. Look at what you’ve overcome. You have so much to offer. You’re unbelievable. Look how sexy you are with your cute little dimple.” Talk to yourself. It’s helpful.”

Andrew: “I like that. Yeah. The self empowerment talk. I think the way we talk to ourselves has so much to do with our self esteem. And I believe Psycho Cybernetics is a great book on that, by Maxwell Maltz. And so now Miki, I want to dive into The Knowledge Round. I’m just gonna ask you a few more questions here, just to get more nuggets of wisdom for the audience. So Miki, ready for the knowledge round?”

Miki: “Ha. Okay. Okay.”

Welcome to The Knowledge Round, where the guests will be asked rapid fire questions to give the audience invaluable pieces of wisdom to help transform their lives. Starting in 3… 2… 1… Show time.

Andrew: “Question for you here is, what advice would you give a man here who is feeling really lost or unsure of what they should be doing in their life? Like unsure of their purpose?”

Miki: “I would say to you, you are perfect. The only one that needs to know that is you. And once you fully come to see how fantastic you are, and how unique you are, and how interesting you are, everything is going to fall into place for you. Don’t be discouraged, I know life can be discouraging and the collective… the collective energy is not so good right now. You know, we have a lot of people that are depressed, a lot of people that are anxious. There’s so much anger out there. Everybody’s arguing about everything. So the collective energy… we can’t help but have that infuse into our person a little bit. So we have to separate ourselves. Anything that is causing you to feel discouraged, that is causing you to feel bummed out, you got to move away from that energy. So move away from social media if it’s bumming you out, move away from T.V. if you feel depressed when you’re watching it. Eliminate those friends that aren’t doing anything for themselves. So start making some moves.”

Andrew: “Yeah. I like that. What do you think is really holding men back from becoming their best self, their strongest self? “

Miki: “Themselves. No question. We have to encourage ourselves better than anyone else encourages us. You know, I consider myself… I’m a spiritual coach right? …but I consider myself a Professional Encourager. Because people don’t get enough of it! They don’t get enough of it. So you have to encourage yourself. You have to. You have to be your own cheerleader.”

Andrew: “I like that. And so your book here is Sex God method for men, which I think the guys should know about by now. (Laughter). What would you say are two or three of your most influential books that have helped you on your journey?”

Miki: “Okay. The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, because she taught me that individualism is critical. And if you sacrifice your own brilliance, you’ve sacrificed everything. It’s better to stand alone with your principles than it is to have other people respect and love you. Because they will end up respecting and loving you if you stick with what you know is right for you. I would say… you know, one book that got me when I was young, money book, was Rich Dad Poor Dad. Because it made me realize how really simple handling money is and how important it is. So that influenced me pretty greatly.”

Andrew: “Ha. Yeah, that’s good. That’s good. A wide range of different books there. And so this one’s for you, kind of like a self reflection back on your own life. And so here’s a scenario, Miki. Imagine you have 60 seconds with 25 year old Miki. If right now you, could envision where she is right now…”

Miki: “She was so cool! (Laughter).”

Andrew: “Yeah. (Laughter). What would you tell her to do? If you could sit down and be like Miki! …like younger you… What would you tell her to do? What would you tell her maybe not to do?”

Miki: “I’m a believer in having no regrets. Don’t regret a damn thing because it made you who you are. And don’t live in any kind of shame. So I’m a big believer in that. I have a video on YouTube titled How I Became A Bad-Ass; Overcome Fear. And if you have shame, you’re gonna have fear. You have to just own everything that you are. Own every decision that you have ever made. My 25 self was pretty cool. She was a skier, a mountain biker. She was a business woman. She wasn’t a mother yet and she didn’t know how powerful she was. That was the only thing. Like she had a great personality and big hopes and dreams, kind and loving and funny and wise, but she didn’t know how powerful she was. And if we can train our children and teach everybody that we know their own power, think about how transformative this world would be.”

Andrew: “Yeah. They often say the riches lands in the world are not the gold mines or the oil fields, but in the graveyard because everyone has incredible power and creativity and the potential for something great, but it wasn’t let out and it went with them. That touches me there.”

Miki: “Yes! That makes me so sad. Bring your brilliance to the table. Bring your brilliance. If you have something, wisdom, a piece of wisdom. If you have… and everyone does because we all have unique life experiences. Bring it to the collective. Package it. Bring it. Make us better by what you have to bring.”

Andrew: “Yeah. I like that. And Miki, here, what would you just say… if we were to keep it simple here… what would you say is your philosophy on life and success?”

Miki: “My philosophy on life is ‘Live And Let Live’. Don’t judge other people because when you’re judging other people, you’re judging yourself and you’re lowering your vibration. And anything that lowers your vibration, hinders your success.”

Andrew: “Yeah… Just letting that sink in. And you know, wise words here from Miki, here on the show and on this entire episode.”

Miki: “(Laughter). You were fun to talk to!”

Andrew: “Yeah. This has been really good. So now, what’s exciting you today? Summer has begun over here. So what’s exciting you? What are you looking forward to in this year?”

Miki: “Well yesterday, I had a book reading for ‘Rise Up Bitch!’, which I was really excited about…”

Andrew: “Wow. Wow.”

Miki: “…and I’m meeting with a book publisher on Saturday for my book ‘Rise Up Bitch!’. And my daughter and I are talking with T.V. shows about doing a reality show. So you can see I like to go there about EVERYTHING. I want to talk about everything because that’s what’s interesting. We edit ourselves too much. So there will be no editing of the SpiesGirls. We have our own reality show now up on our SpiesGirls To The Rescue! YouTube channel. It’s just us living in our home and what we do and what we talk about and who we are. It’s just us having a good time. Authenticity is everything, isn’t it?”

Andrew: “Absolutely. Absolutely. Be unapologetically you and the right people, that love you will show up.”

Miki: “Yes! Yes. Don’t hide. Don’t hide. Come on out!”

Andrew: “Come on out!”

Miki: “Come on out!”

Andrew: “Come on out right now!”

Miki: “…and we’ll have more fun with you! Yes.”

Andrew: “Let’s do it. Let’s do it.”


Andrew: “Alright. For all of the listeners here, you can follow up with Miki Spies at SpiesGirls.com. You can also google her name @MikiSpies and get access to her website and her books and her reality show. All of that stuff is there. Miki, it’s been an honor talking with you.”

Miki: “You too love.”

Andrew: “It’s been a long time in the making actually to get you on here, and you’re here. We had a fantastic episode. We impacted thousands. Thank you so much for your time.”

Miki: “I hope so. I hope so. Thank you too. So much.”

Back to blog

Leave a comment

Please note, comments need to be approved before they are published.